Orlando Marriage Therapist Shares Tips On How To Reconnect As A Couple

recconectingToday’s question is about your current romantic relationship. How satisfying is it? Many of us are interested in improving our relationship with our romantic partner. Whether it is new or old, we want to stoke the fires of connection, to nurture the attraction and caring. If this is something you would like for yourself, here is a painless way to move forward. As the song says, “Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.”

Get ready for four questions. Get a notepad or open a note on your device and answer the following questions:

Think back to how this relationship first started:

  1. What do you remember about the early days?
  2. What did you say or do to show you were interested in pursuing this relationship?
  3. How did you treat each other?
  4. How did your partner make you feel?

In other words, when the world felt fresh and new, and the possibilities were endless, how did you relate with your partner?

Today, when you see your partner, say those things. Express that attitude. Show that enthusiasm and interest. Recreate that feeling. Then watch the surprise on their face, the momentary confusion, and then the smile. It is entirely possible that you will have started a chain reaction, where both of you are tuning into each other again and feeling connected.

For most of us, the energy that we spend in establishing a new relationship is followed by a sense of accomplishment when you decide to be together. Eventually, the demands of everyday life claim your time and attention, and the relationship goes into auto-pilot. We fall into a routine. This is a necessary and normal part of the life-cycle of a relationship. Even with the rhythm and routine, you can still make sure that your partner feels loved and cared about. There is still room for connection and thoughtfulness.

There are many small ways to accomplish this:

  • Sending them a text during the day or leaving them a note telling them you are thinking about them
  • Talking about the events of your day
  • Listening patiently as they vent, offering support not advice
  • Spending time together as a couple, just the two of you. Perhaps re-engaging in activities that the two of you used to like to do but have stopped doing.
  • Being considerate of their likes and dislikes
  • Complimenting them

None of these is big or dramatic. Still, they convey your commitment to the relationship, your willingness to make your partner a priority in your life. It helps them feel cherished, just like in your early days together.

Today, use the start of your relationship as inspiration to invigorate your connection to each other. You did it successfully once before, you know how. Put a little bit of time and effort into it. Make it happen, one small step at a time.

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